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January 23, 2019

Music for Lovers Only: Awesomely Bad Valentine Album Covers

Hope your Valentine’s Day has been special - flowers, candy, a special dinner, perhaps a plushie to add to the collection of Valentine’s Day plushies. However you celebrate, or choose not to, the music can be just as important.

1. When You’re In Love The Whole World Is Jewish
Bob Booker and George Foster (Starring the “You Don't Have To Be Jewish” Players)

Complete with a mom to guilt you into anything... including marriage to a man “just like father.”

Wait... Valerie Harper?! Rhoda Morgenstern was involved with this?!

Note: It’s a stage play about a young Jewish boy who wants to marry his gentile girlfriend. Hilarity ensues, because it must.

2. A Man Without Love
Engelbert Humperdinck

The name was the first clue. But don’t tell my aunt this, she thinks he’s a Golden God.

Seriously, don’t ask. She’s not 80 years old - I can’t figure out the appeal either!

And why two covers?!

3. You Gave Me a Mountain Mr. Walker. It’s All Over.
Margie Singleton

Pack it in, Mr. Walker. She’s so over you.

4. Music for Lovers Only
Jackie Gleason

Because after he sends Alice to the moon, he’s going to be ready to love again.

Wait, this is the same Jackie Gleason... right? Right?!

5. Music for Young Lovers
The Organ Masters

Yes...“young.” Like the guy who looks old enough to be your dad.

6. My Love Forgive Me
Robert Goulet

I keep picturing Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet parodying this album.

Someone please make that happen!

7. Love Marriage and God
Dr. Louis H. Evans

Also known as “Love, Marriage, God, Monogamy... and Always Having Husband #2 Waiting in the Wings.” Or is that dad?

8. Will Anybody Marry Me?
Pam Ayres

The doggie in the corner is pretty sweet on you.

I mean... what?! Somebody marry Pam already!

9. “Dreamin' of Love”
Stevie B.

Because Stevie B. already dreamed of bitchin’ hair. And by golly, he got it!

10. “Can I Borrow A Feelin’?”
Cody Matherson


And there you have it, music for lovers.

I didn’t say any of it was particularly sexy or romantic.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

(This original article was written by Allison Venezio and published on her blog at Allison’s Written Words)



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