He knows if you've been bad or good.
For his part, he's been exclusively bad.
Here's a small collection of 10 vintage Christmas cards that terrify the tinsel out of us.
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Undated - "I can see you. You can't see me, but I can see you." |
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c. 1880 - "Careful with that tree, Santa. You'll do yourself a mischief. Seriously. Even the old man in your boot is concerned." |
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c. 1885 - "I'm going down there. (Wink.)" |
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c. 1885 - "My, what a disproportionately immense head you've got, Santa. Which you've wreathed in holly. Sharp, sharp holly. OK, I'm outta here." |
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Late 1880s/early 1900s - "Greetings, children, I am Super Santa. Admire my cloak, then allow me to spin you a spool of thread from my extraneous beard hair. Wait, come back..." |
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1905 - "Oh, another doll, Santa, that's... kinda like my other doll, only blue. Nice. Wait, where are you?" "I'm in a parallel universe accessed via a porthole in the night sky. Check it." |
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c. 1910 - "You know, people often ask me, 'Santa, what do you do with the children who've been bad?' Here's the answer: I pretend I'm dead and beat them with a bunch of sticks tied up with a ribbon. Happy Christmas." |
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c. 1912 - "Go ahead, elf, make my day." |
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c. 1897 - "Now then, children, let's see what old Santa's got for you. How about a Yoko Ono shield and spear set? Or a Punch mannequin? Or a spade? Or a gun?" |
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c. 1890 - "Just remain absolutely still and maybe he won't see us... OMG, he's turning around..." |
(Images: Getty Immages, via
Mashable/Retronaut)
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