The Rector Rotor! For All Your Prostate Needs!

This dilator from the 1910s promised to cure “piles, constipation, and prostrate problems.” It was designed to break up, your “piles” and to lubricate the rectum. The tip had holes in it through which ointment could be released. How it was supposed to cure your prostate problems can only be imagined. But with a motto like “large enough to be efficient, small enough for anyone over 15 years old,” how could you go wrong?

Once the vital spot was touched, a simple flip of a switch would send the infernal machine in to a hellish convulsive fit as it vibrated its way deeper in to your ass like an oil prospector drilling for crude. But here’s the thing: the Recto Rotor knows there’s no crude in your ass. It’s smarter than that. So what does it do? It supplies its own crude. With the turn of a dial the vent holes atop the rotor ooze a white-ish lotion all over your prostate.