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August 4, 2022

Ironized Yeast, the Quick Way to Gain Weight So You’ll Look Better in a Bathing Suit!

No one likes skinny people. They are reviled as inferior and subhuman. They are anorexic and icky and pallid, and you don’t want to befriend them. But there is hope for those cursed to be wan! You can eat ironized yeast and become healthy-looking!

In 1938, the Great Depression was still stinking up the joint, financially speaking, and lots of people didn’t have enough to eat. Enter ironized yeast tablets to help plump up our women!

When people are undernourished, they are prone to Anemia, due to vitamin deficiency, like iron, and vitamin B-12. So, yeast helps you gain weight and Vitamin B increases appetite.

Why don’t we see many ads like this now? Well, number one, though times are tough, it ain’t the Great Depression. Number two, with the advent of fast food in the fifties, cheap, calorie-rich foods can be found within a few feet of every television set (fact exaggerated for your enjoyment), so most people can fill their belly, but with shitty food prepared by people who hate their jobs. So, fatness is a problem now.

Also, vitamin deficiencies are much less common than they were in 1938, due to the fortification of many foods. This means that manufacturers try to sneak a few extra nutrients into stuff we eat every day, like flour and rice, which is handy. Odds are, you get plenty of every vitamin from the food you eat.


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