Praise-R-Cise: Christian Aerobics With Christian Music

Bet you didn’t realize that all exercise of whatever kind is a vicious, Satanic plot to sap the innocent vitality of fat women. But rejoice! Praise! Out goes the Devilish posturing, in comes pure Praise-R-Cise, melting fat away by just praying sincerely that it take its leave.

Christian Aerobics was not like other aerobics (notably Muslim aerobics, Jewish aerobics and the Sikh aerobic, which is, as we know, glorified rhythmic gymnastics). Christian Aerobics had a terrific tagline: “Praise-R-Cise.”  It was accompanied by Christian Music. And it worked.

Bernadette DiFrancesco, co-founder of the anti-fat gospel with her husband Joey, told customers: “I dedicated my diet to Jesus and lost 85 pounds…and with Prise–r-cise, I’m keeping it off for good.”

Released by Christian Aerobic Services, Inc. (Longwood, Florida) in 1982, the playlist went:

RECORD NUMBER 1 SIDE 1

Testimony – Bernadette DiFrancesco, Founder

Opening Prayer – Bernadette DiFrancesco

Scripture – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Slogan / Pulse

A1 Warm Up Routine – The Covenant – Isaiah 49:15

A2 Warm Up Routine – I’m A Believer – Hold On

A3 Medium Routine – Damascus Walk – Don’t Play With The Devil

A4 Fast Routine – Sea Of Galilee – Sail On

A5 Fast Routine – Jehovah Jiration – Jehova Jireh

Pulse / Scripture – Hebrews 12:7 / Slogan

SIDE 2

B1 Fast Routine – Jonah’s Run – Don’t Run From Reality

B2 Medium Routine – King Of Kings – He Came Down To My Level

Pulse / Scripture – 1 Corinthians 6:13 / Slogan

B3 Medium Routine – The Joy Of The Lord – Giggle

B4 Cool Down Routine – Heavenly Stretch – Living Sacrifice

B5 Cool Down Routine – Kingdom Living – Every Eye Shall See

Pulse / Scripture – Hebrews 12:11 / Slogan

RECORD NUMBER 2 SIDE 3

C1 Diet Hints

C2 Set Your Goal

C3 Preparing For “D” Day

C4 Decision To Diet

SIDE 4

D1 Did Jesus Experience Stress?

D2 Stress And Temptation

D3 Nutrition Part 1

D4 Nutrition Part 2

(via Flashbak)