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July 19, 2015

10 Seriously Bizarre Ways of Retro Dating Advice Adults Used To Explain to Teens

Adults give teenagers questionable dating advice. In fact, how adults have attempted to "reach the youth" is so painfully awkward that it will actually make you appreciate your awful, uncomfortable sex ed class.


1. On "slowing things down":


"Keep a candy handy and whenever the going gets sticky, just pop a gumdrop into his mouth -- or yours. It's fattening ... but safe."
-- "The Cool Book," 1961.


2. On tact:


"Don't openly prefer blondes when you are with a brunette."
--"The Do's And Don'ts of Dating For Boys And Girls," 1964.


3. On the dangers of necking:


In the '50s, advice columnist Ann Landers warned:

"When necking becomes the major interest and the No.1 indoor sport, you’re playing with fire and you could get badly singed."

Usually, Landers said, "The trouble would start in a parked car" at a local "passion pit," a.k.a. the drive-in movie theater.


4. On how a guy can spot a "teaser" kind of girl:

"When she looks over her shoulder with a lingering glance and a half smile of invitation, she is teasing ... When she drops her purse and stoops to pick up the spilled contents with her dress above her knees, she is teasing."
-- "When A Girl Is A Teaser," 1952.


5. On the risks of spontaneously sitting on his lap:


"Dear Girls -- Never sit on a young man's lap unless you receive an invitation. To act otherwise is considered rather forward in the best society if you are less than 30 years old. If you are beyond that age, naturally desperate measures may sometimes be necessary."
-- "The Day Book," 1916.


6. On how to respond to his "off-color story," a.k.a. fart joke:


"One popular girl just wrinkles her nose and says 'Something does not smell too sweet around here.'"
-- "Facts of Life And Love For Teenagers," 1950.


7. On transitioning from small talk to deeper talk:


Here's a sample exchange meant to show the art of the conversation:
"He--'It's a grand night, isn't it?'
She--'Wonderful. Did you ever see such a moon?'
He--'Isn't that what they call a Harvest Moon, or is it the Hunter's Moon?'
She--'Hunters' Moon? That sounds interesting. Do you hunt?'"
-- "Facts of Life and Love for Teenagers," 1950.


8. On the danger of women making noise while dancing:


"Don't talk while dancing, for when a man dances he wants to dance."
-- A 1938 "Guide for Single Ladies."

"Don't offend his eardrums by humming while dancing."
-- "Facts of Life and Love for Teenagers," 1950


9. On protecting her from her biggest fears:


"Do be attentive and protective. Even independent modern girls like to be reassured about mice and spiders, roller coasters and thunderstorms."
-- "The Do's And Don'ts of Dating For Boys And Girls," 1964.


10. On when it's OK for you to call him (Hint: NEVER):


"Don't telephone a boy, even if he asks you to. This is sure 'social suicide.'"
-- A 1960s Wendy Ward's Charm School advice book

(via The Huffington Post)

2 comments:

  1. Where are the Muslims?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sage_on_the_HudsonJuly 26, 2015 at 3:02 AM

    That's actually a very interesting question. There were already quite a few in the U.K. by the mid-late 1970's, since any empire's "mother country" inevitably draws the very colonial peoples it ruled (and subjugated) by virtue of the culture (and technology) that was overlaid on their own, but they tended to keep a low profile. It's the generation they sired, and the one after that, that made them more assertive and visible, in large part because it's the later generations who feel more alienated and disaffected than their parents and grandparents -- the original immigrants -- by the society that promised much, but delivered little.

    ReplyDelete




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