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September 12, 2019

Lifting and Spanking Machine, ca. 1908

Much like the vibrators from the Victoria era, there were some pretty kinky-ass devices officially marketed under slightly more socially acceptable auspices. The “Combined Lifting and Spanking Machine” was sold as a “prank machine” for use in various fraternal initiation ceremonies.

Complete with hand grips, this spring-loaded paddle delivered quite the smack on the rump to naughty Victorians in need of a little sexy-time punishment.

With this machine the candidate cannot kick his own pants while wearing them, but can have them spanked where his mother used to apply the sole of her slipper, by simply testing his strength.

The position in which he places himself causes a little strain in the seat of his pants, which is not objectionable, as it pulls up all the slack when he pulls on the handles.

Just about the time he gets well started lifting, a trigger is automatically released, which causes the spanking paddle to spring into place and strike him on the kazabo, at the same time exploding a 32-calibre blank cartridge with a loud report. (Paddle can be easily removed and used as a spanker.)

That is not all: there is also an electric attachment concealed under the platform of the machine that turns on a good current of electricity at the same time the paddle hits his pants.

You think this is a joke? No way. Check the patent below.


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