Monday, September 5, 2016

15 Weirdest Ways to Lose Weight from the Past We Won’t Be Trying

Ever since female beauty — and worth — became equated with thinness, women have tried some truly unbelievable ways to lose weight.

Check out these unbelievable ways women tried to lose weight in the past, guaranteed to make you want nothing but a healthy relationship with your figure:

1. Tapeworms

Has your parent or grandparent ever accused you of having a tapeworm in your tummy when you're stuffing your face. Well, people actually bought tape worms to eat in the hopes that they would gobble up the food they eat from the inside. Yes. People intentionally ingested parasites in the hope that they would lose weight. Sanitized or not, that's disgusting. Unfortunately, people still do it!

2. Sugar

So sugar became a weight loss sensation in the early '70s. Why? Because apparently sugar rushes lead to being energetic which leads to weight loss. Um, we're not all in the mood to run a mile after eating an ice cream cone but nice try.

3. JIF Peanut Butter

Yes, the magical weight loss secret of eating three peanut butter sandwiches and three glasses of milk everyday for eight weeks. This is too laughable to even comment on. Like... how could anybody believe that this is the key to dropping a few dress sizes?

4. Lucky Strikes

Cigarettes were promoted as a weight loss secret for decades! Take a look at this awful ad campaign. Pretty sure we now know that if you're thinking about reaching for a donut or a cigarette... it better be a donut.

5. Kellog Massage Roller

Exercising isn't supposed to be cute but this looks so silly! Pretty sure most of us would feel like a cat rubbing against a scratching post on this thing.

6. Weight Loss Suits

It's unclear as to how exactly this works but the little drawing shows that this couple used to be overweight and now they're not so... These futuristic looking jumpsuits are part fashion, part weight loss magic.

7. Wate On

The only product featured in this roundup that promotes weight gain and not loss. But at the end of the day the weight that this product hopes to add on is all around the bust and the butt. None of the models who were in these Wate On ads had anything heftier than an hourglass shape. So if you're skinny and aren't too well endowed, here's a product that'll make you... feel awful about yourself.

8. The Spot Reducer

According to an ad placed in the Oct. 1, 1950 issue of The Milwaukee Sentinel, "thousands" have lost weight by using the gadget, "handsomely made of lightweight aluminium and rubber," to "break down fatty tissues."

9. Wonder Sauna Hot Pants

The premise behind these terrifying garments is that they force you to sweat, thus ridding you of water weight and reducing unwanted inches around your hips and thighs. A similar product was advertised in the 1972 Spiegel Christmas Catalog — because nothing says "I love you" like pants made of heavy-gauge vinyl. These may have actually helped users drop some water weight, but only temporarily. (And no weight loss is worth wearing such a heinous outfit.)

10. Slenderizing Salons

No, these are not instruments of torture. In the 1940s, women voluntarily went to "slenderizing salons" to have their "problem areas" massaged by a variety of Edward Scissorhands-esque machines that claimed to stimulate muscles and break down fat. We remain deeply skeptical.

11. Anklets

According to this vintage ad, "cankles" have long been an issue. But never fear, these "medicated" anklets and other compression garments (the neckpiece is particularly scary) were invented to "dissolve" your excess fat. Pretty sure that's not how fat works...

12. Vibrating Belts

These things look ridiculous but women swore by them back in the day. The vibrations were supposed to support weight loss in your midsection, thighs, butt, etc. Honestly, it mostly looks like a giant rubber bands that can double as a vibrator.

13. Fat-Reducing Soaps

Products like this La-Mar "reducing" soap advertised in the 1920s claimed to magically wash away "superfluous" body fat. Sounds perfectly legitimate.

14. Thin Music

There is no information as to how this record, produced by Wallace Reducing Records, is supposed to work. An accompanying exercise regime? Hypnosis? Brainwashing messages? We'll probably never know.

15. Rowing Machine

The Thirties equivalent of a rowing machine - two bandages (one for the feet and one for the neck) joined by a metal spring.

(via and The Huffington Post)

1 comment:

  1. Are you paying over $5 per pack of cigs? I buy high quality cigarettes over at Duty Free Depot and this saves me over 50%.